Monday, May 3, 2010

My Journey 5/3/10

Wow!  The last few days have been really monumental for me.  Not only have I gotten through twelve chemotherapy treatments, but fighting through it like I have nothing to loose.    I have seen just how hard cancer is on not just myself, but for family members too.  Im probably sounding a bit like a broken record, but I dont care.  My last treatment for me was a little bittersweet.  Knowing that I have to feel like shit for a week or so but knowing that it is my last.  This morning was my 1st day feeling like I have a new lease on life.  A majority of the side effects of the treatments are mostly gone.  There will be some aching from the Nulasta shot in the next few days, but all in all I'm on my way to recovery.  There are a lot of things that I want to accomplish.  My main goal is getting my heath back, and enjoy being alive!  Im looking forward to golf season and working at the golf course.  A little tree work and playing some music.  This is going to be a Great Year!

During my last treatment, there was a older lady, Maybe in her mid 70's.  She was very adamant about not carrying on with her treatments.  She had three left.  The treatment were making her more sick than the cancer.  She told Tracy
(one of the nurses) that she was done with her treatments!  Her Oncologist thought it was in her best interest to finish the 3 treatments (We have the same Oncologist).  She couldn't take it any more.  Needless to say, there was a lot of tears that day.  I understand both sides, but it is such a heavy decision.  Im not to sure what decision she decided to take but in respect, watching that choice come to head was a very difficult one to watch.  If I was in her shoes, I dont know which decision I'd make...  The constant pain of the treatment takes a toll on one's sole.  This is the second time in my life understanding why people would want to make that decision.  The first was through divorce.

On a brighter note, it is sunny today.  The last few days have been a bit of a bear.  Shitty Summit County Spring!  But Im really looking forward to spending some time outside!