Three years ago

Last week was three years since my Stem-cell transplant.  I have been doing a bit of reflecting on what anniversary dates mean.  And for me, they represent moments in time where good and not so good things have happened.  September 27th is a date that is important to me because of the treatment that I had to undertake for Hodgkins.  Last year I got a tattoo to commemorate the two year mark and the likelihood of the lymphoma not coming back, statistically speaking.  I feel great, and thankful for my second chance.  This year has been different.  As I have no reason to be ungrateful, this sept 27th has brought a lot of different emotions.  A little bit of depression.  I have been remembering experiences that weren't so good during my treatment.  And I guess it reminds me that I don't want my friends and family to ever have to experience anything like it.  My friend Dave Tuck that passed away about a month and a half ago fought his hardest, but couldn't beat it.  Then there is Haley Wastel and Chris Mountyjoy that seem to be winning and kicking its ass.  I guess what I'm trying to say is i've been a bit confused with the realty of cancer.  I've been realizing with summer coming to a close and winter just around the corner, that time crepes by so quick.  Ive been working so much just to get back on my feet, I think i've lost track of whats important to me.  And its easy to get caught up in the day to day things that some times its hard to pull back and just enjoy the moment.  I am guilty!  Not sure why I let myself get so caught up with such mundane things.  But I do.  I am human.              

Time Flys into New Beginnings

  It occurred to me that I haven't posted anything since the first of the year.  Im a little disappointed in myself because there have been so many things that have gone on since treatment.  Today is day+1062 since transplant.  Theres not one day that goes by that I don't think about the experience and only until recently understood what that has meant in my life.  So I have a confession.  I've spent some time in therapy sorting out my head.  For the last year, I have started on a journey on gaining knowledge of myself and surroundings.  Learning.  Growing.  Changing.  I have broke down every aspect of my life to understand who I am, and what my basic needs and wants are.  Discovering my WHY!  My environment is and always has been a key in decisions and choices.  But I was too closed to see it before my diagnosis.  With that said, I've started making choices that are best for me and my family.  Ive made some tough choices in how I want to spend my time and who I want to spend it with.  My goals are simpler.  My need and want is to build financial freedom, my why is my Family!  My Passion is helping people not go through what I did and the treatment I endured with cancer.
  I lost my friend and partner Dave Tuck a few weeks ago to Pancreatic Cancer.  I watched him fight it to the end.  His pain is motivating!  His influence was boundless!  His personality bigger than life!  The memorial was a week ago today.  The amount of love for him was breathtaking.  But it's a staunch reminder that what Dave, Mike D and I have started With Strap In For Life is for something so much bigger than any of us.  I know Dave is with us in spirit but i wish he was here to experience it with us.  I miss my friend!
  So I've started rebuilding my financial situation from scratch.  Every bit of savings, retirement I had went to medical and living expenses.  I finished a book recently that changed everything I thought about money.  Its called Rich Dad Poor Dad.  I had heard about this book for years from my mom, saw it on book shelves, and its the #1 best selling finance book of all time.  Man I should have picked up this book when it came out!  It is by Robert Kiyosaki and I highly recommend this it.  I am using some of the principles in Rich Dad Poor Dad to take control of my financial future with the help of my family.  I Just started his next book called the Cash Flow Quadrant.  Its the next step in understanding money, how its made, and how you can have it work for you instead of you work for it.        

Stay tuned! Exciting things are happening!    










               

New Beginnings!

Todd, Mike and Dave at Dew Tour Breckenridge

Happy new year everyone!  Wanted to give you an update to what has been happening.  Its been a bit of a whirl wind but things are starting to take shape with the non profit.  For those of you that don't know, its called Strap In For Life.  David Tuck, Mike Daniel and myself have partnered up and have gotten this thing off the ground.  We incorporated January 9th with the CO Secretary of State as a non profit and in the process of putting together all the necessary information on submitting and acquiring 501c3 status!  Exciting and daunting at the same time.  Check out our Facebook page at www.facebook.com/strapinforlife . We did a soft launch at Dew Tour and had very good response.  Gave out some Hoodies, Tee's, Beanies and stickers.  Im going to be making an appearance at x-games and give out gear and also get some riding in. We are also going to the Snow Industries of America (SIA) trade show at the Colorado Convention Center January 31 - February 3rd.  Since we are starting from scratch we have put together a mini fundraiser for that expense and help Dave battle Pancreatic Cancer.  The goal is to get roughly $2000 together for the show,  doing a small mixer on Friday for Dave and for filing fees for the IRS to acquire our 501c3 status!  Were almost halfway there.  Any help would be greatly appreciated.  Go to http://www.whenyouwish.com/ProjectDetails/Home/1120 and donate a buck or two!



Thanks everyone!      

2 years

Hey everyone, sorry it's been a while since I updated my blog.  It's been a bit hectic in the old Franzen world but such is life.  

September 27 marked the two-year date since my stem cell transplant. I cannot begin to explain the gratitude and feelings that have gone along with having a second chance! Two years of reflection have help me understand myself and my surroundings. What is important and what is not.  The time has gone by quickly juggling work and family.  I constantly think about my treatment and time spent in the hospital.  Health wise, things are good.  My blood counts are looking good and don't have any scans planed till the beginning of December.  Im tired of the scans,  they create so much anxiety.  

Work, Family Illness.  Its been tough watching my father get sick.  A couple weeks ago, my father was diagnosed with a unknown lung fibrosis.  I know there's no explanation, but I still keep asking the question why?   Im wondering if his years in the excavation trade has something to do with it.  All the dust and dirt?  I've been following in his footsteps for the last six or seven years now and starting to wonder if its worth it.  From a health standpoint, I've already been through a huge battle, and i'm a bit paranoid that excavation and construction work is going to lead me down a similar path as dad's.  From a construction standpoint, its not worth building anything in this town since there is so much red tape.  Hypocritically speaking!  The development project that I have been working on has only proved that to me.  In other words, Stress.  Breckenridge is and has a really good small town community and that was prevalent during my fundraisers.  I am having to start from scratch financially, and i'm in a industry that has such high overhead, especially from a mechanical standpoint.  Ive seen my payroll taxes go up, liability insurance go up, unemployment insurance go up all while making less and less money.  Is it worth it?  I think Im leaning towards no.  There has to be a better way!     

So in this endless quest to deal with finances, I feel like my future opportunities involve winter work that has nothing to do with my passion, snowboarding.  Which is the hole reason why I never left Breckenridge.  Breck has always been home, but as of recently its not feeling very home like.  There has been so many changes and challenges here that my love for this town is wavering.  And since it is harder to enjoy my passion, I feel Breck isn't offering what it use to.  Im starting to feel that bigger change is coming down the pipeline.

The Family is doing well, Rayna is loving SHS Rugby and looks like they have a good JV team brewing.  They haven't been winning a hole lot but playing seven person division 1 varsity teams, What a great experience!  I don't know much about rugby, but this is pretty cool.  Kalina just finished up SMS intramural soccer.  She is such a chatter box on the field.  Its too funny.  Im very proud of both of them.  Erika's doing well, her birthday is Friday.  Looking forward to getting out of town!      
    

Thanks everyone for reading!

      

    

What a year!

Sorry about not updating the ol' blog lately, its been since May since I wrote last.  It has been a very challenging last half year.  Everything was very uneventful until the last week in July when my dad and I went to British Columbia for a fishing trip on the Charlotte Queen.  Caught a bunch of fish to fill up the freezer.  Aside from puking my brains out the first two days, dad started having some breathing issues on the third night but seemed under control.   Two days after we got home, thats when everything got complicated.  Dad was rushed to the Hospital and eventually was taken to St. Anthony's in Denver due to respiratory complications.  He was moved into ICU and ventilated.  He unfortunately was not able to be at my wedding that comming Saturday.  So a day that was suppose to be happy and full of cheer and optimism, was filled with thoughts and prayers for dad.  To add to the madness, my grandmother pass away the following day after my wedding.  Fortunately my grandmother had lived a great full life and I can only hope to be as fortunate!  With dad in the hospital and and my mom grieving about her mom passing, it was decided that we still go on our honeymoon.  Dad was ventilated for about six days, pretty much while my family and I was in Florida.  He was released a couple weeks later and came back up to Breck.  A couple days later, mom called 911 because of a heart attack and dad was rushed right back to denver.  He was intubated again and when he stabilized, they did an angiogram and angioplasty on his heart (two stints).  He was released again after a few weeks and did not come back up to altitude.  A family friend Charlie let us use his apartment down town since he was visiting friends in California.  About a week or so after he was released, he collapsed eating at the Palm about a block away from where he was staying.  His O2 levels dropped to the low 60's and was rushed back to the hospital.  He was again intubated and I got down there as the sedation was kicking in.  I have never seen my father so desperate and helpless and that memory is burned into my sole!  That time did it for me.  The reality of him potently passing was very real and hard to comprehend.  The pillar of strength in my life was fighting for his life and I couldn't do anything about it.  The emotions were of helplessness and sadness.  Mom was loosing it and Chris was five thousand miles away and to get last minute tickets from Sao Paulo were financially out of reach.  But we did get him and Noah up here towards the end of September to see the family and just hang out with dad.  It had been almost three years since he was back in the states.  I did my best with a development project and put my nose to the preverbal grindstone to get through the political, HOA and construction issues that have been bestowed upon this project. Ill save that for another entry.  Fortunately dad is doing well and is looking forward to getting to Destin and recovering at sea level.  
 
So what a year right!  September 27th was my one year since my transplant.  When I look back, I'm in a bit dumbfounded with everything that went down.  It has been a roller coaster ride of events up to now.  I got a lot of snowboarding in right after I got out of Brents Place to get back into shape and it turned out that it was one of the best seasons in Colorado in close to a decade if not all time.  Work became steady enough in March to give my self a little breathing room.  Summer hit and things seemed to be moving along smoothly with the exception of dad.  Honeymoon in Orlando was the ticket with the girls, made Universal Studio's the goal.  It was really nice to get out tof the mountains and into some heat.  Although a heat index of 110 was a little much.  But I finally felt like I thawed out.

I started a little snowplow business this fall to keep me busy through the winter and spending time in the office getting year end stuff done.  Christmas was great and the girls are in AZ hanging with their other side of the family.  Lucky girls get two christmas's!  hahahahah

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!




           

Recovery Road

Here is a quick little update.

Things are going good and working my ass off.  Last sunday I went to A-Basin with Devon O'neal and got an up date on ESPN.  The article turned out short and sweet.  Check it out!

A-Basin 5/15/11 

Went to an NRA dinner with my dad Saturday night.  Good times and saw a bunch of old friends.  But the best part of the night was dad picking up a new Kimber Gold Match 2 out of one of the raffles.  A very nice pistol.  So were going to go fire it off soon.

The duplex is dried in and siding is going on, masons are laying stone, roof is dried in, plumbing is roughed in and electric should be done by Thursday.  I took this photo last week...

 Ill have more photos of it later.

Enjoy the week!

Recovery Road

   Thanks for being patient with me.  Today is day +221 since transplant...
Since the doc's gave me the ok to start working, ive been busy in the field and office working on building a spec duplex building out by the Breck golf course.  Doing the book keeping and payroll ends up taking up a bunch of time too.  So I've been slacking on getting in here and writing.  Throw in a little computer failure and blog writing gets put on the back burner...

   Yesterday I had a scheduled PET scan.  It was a long day and my anxiety levels were a bit on the high side.  Ill tell you it doesn't get any easer!  I guess that is why I have been working a lot. Helps keep my head focused.  But this one was tense.  This was the first scan with out being in the middle of treatment.  All the doctors say that the chances of reoccurrence are greatest with in two years after transplant.  So when it come time for the PET scan to come around I get strait up scared!  I had a bout a two hour wait between my scan and oncologist appointment.  Didn't want to smoke weed for anxiety as I wanted to take the news completely sober.   Fortunately the scans showed no signs of the Lymphoma!  I had quite an emotional release when I got to my car!

   So for the first time since I can remember, I wish the ski season wasn't over.  I know I can go to the Basin, but, tough seeing it closed so early.  I remember it staying open till some time in May.  I guess with all the snow...  I was having a lot of fun this season.  I need to ask the forest service about a special use permit after the season ends.  Could have had two extra weeks of powder!  Don't get me wrong, i'm ready for summer.  Ready to play golf and be in shorts.  Living up on Boreas Pass with easily five feet of snow in the yard...

  
   Ok, A politics rant.  Don't Run... So we got UBL!  Ill tell you what, I would have pulled the trigger myself if I had the chance!  Im also glad that out president made the decision by not releasing the photos.  It shows that Americans are a better people and that we have class!  Unlike the middle east bastards that drag our troops and reporters through the sand and dirt after decapitating them.  It also shows that the USA is the best country in the world!
   For the record, I don't agree with pretty much any of our represented politicians!  Demarcate or Republican!  None of them care about the little guy and the little business.  I just saw my tax rate increase for my business, and frankly I don't have the money to pay.  Let alone the certainty of work!  Add retarded fuel prices and you got your self the perfect recipe for bankruptcy.  Im not going there yet, but I looked at a monthly snap shot of my finances and 38% is going to fuel.  Fucking great!  Heres a link from The Heritage Foundation on our current budget levels.  In other words, i'm tired of politicians making big decisions that affect my life with out my opinion!  They are making everyday life more complicated!  I thought my vote means something?

   If you want a good book to read, Freakonomics by Stephen J. Dubner and Steven D. Levitt.  A good read and makes you think!  I especially like the chapter Why drug dealers still live with there parents!  It got me a bit more interested in economics and how it all works together.

  

Recovery Road

Its been a little over a month since my entry.  What can I say other than I feel great!  The counts from my last draw keep showing improvement.  Since diagnosis, I have lost 30 pounds, have about twenty days riding and work has been steady enough to take care of business!  The doctors are very pleased with my recovery and family life is pretty badass!  Throw in my birthday the beginning of March and I cant begin to explain how fortunate I feel right now!  But im humbled by the memory of not knowing what was wrong with me two novembers ago.  I have a PET scan set up the end of April.  Which will be 7 months since transplant.  Time sure does fly.  Day + 179.  It feels good to be alive!      

We got working on a duplex out by the Breckenridge Golf Course.  One of six.  We started the Excavation in January.  And last week, started framing the third floor.  If weather cooperates, two weeks from now the roof will be on.  Got some garage slabs to poor too.  Ground heaters are in there doing there thing and if the plumbers can get in there on Monday or Tuesday, I should have it prepped and ready to poor a week from tomorrow.  But most importantly, its out by the golf course!

Quick story,  Breckenridge has been having one of the top three years that I can remember.  95 was one too and 84 when I was eight.  I remember that one being waist deep for spring break.  But dont think I was six foot at the time either...  And 95 was the year that Jay Nelson, Shawn Ebbinghaus and I jumped the west wall cornice at A-Basin as far as we could go.  Two feet the day before and three feet over night.  My second Jump was over a skier traversing under the cornice.  Idiot!  Did quite a bit of hiking behind the house and Blue River this year.  A bit on the resort too.  Quality has been high!  I am pissed that they put a gate right on top of peak ten directly getting off of the Falcon.  Now everyone and there mother goes into Ballroom's!  Fortunately most go to the top!  Patrol should have asked us where to put it.  There is a perfect spot on the south side.  Over by Cimmeron starting shack.  Could have helped control the rift raff!  Oh well...

Have a good week Friends!

My Journey 2/13/11

...so after a while later...

Things have been relly good. The doctor gave me the ok to start working. I was getting on the hill for a little bit but started hiking behind the house with the holidays in Breck going crazy. A couple weeks ago, we got the biggest snow of the year and damn near the most snow in a decade. Epic to say the least. That kept me busy with the backhoe for about two weeks. Gettingnback to work has been great mentally. Not having any work for over a year and battling cancer can take it's tole on one's psyche. It's not a lot, but everything helps. I'm pretty stoked, it looks look I have a bit more work for the forseeable future. Throw the books of four companies on top of that and it's hard to keep up.

2/10/11-2/13/11
I've been judging the Aspen Open since they started it about five or six years ago. It's a fun event to come to. Aspen is a great host and really know how to do an event. Hell they have x-games to thank. But this year, attendance is way down for the snowboarders. Dew Tour and Rev tour are happening at the same time. Scheduling issues are unfortunately driving this event into the ground. There were eight competitors in pipe. Four men and four women. Unfortunate. Slope is a bit better with finals today. Should be about fifteen in finals. Aspen needs to get affiliated or somthing. I wish there were events like this when I was growing up. The good part of the low attendance was the first day , there was no qualifiers. Got the day off. So I went riding with some friends, Adam Longnecker, Angus Morrison and Ryan Lougee. We took three runs. Epic! Check it out.(Click Here) Thanks guys for showing me around. I've been waiting to ride Aspen like that!

As for tests and medical, I have another PET scan torwards the beginning of May. I'm expecting a good outcome for that. I can only base it on how I feel day to day. Today is day +139 since transplant and I feel great. I have to be carful though. I got that crud that was going around Breck and it floored me for about two weeks. Getting sick now is much worse than it use to be.

I don't go out really any more. Haven't drank since October of 09 and the girls keep my free time very busy. And we got a puppy. A Begal mix. There is just not enough time in the day! Hahahaha

My Journey 12/15/10

Anxiety! Every one encounters it! Everyone feels it. Some times it rears its ugly head during trivial times. Some times it hardly shows itself during the most trying struggles! Recently, anxiety didn't show its self until the day before my PET Scan. Its weird being the one inside the box, almost like the senses are dulled. I felt good going into this scan and have had a positive look feeling like im in remission. But that little voice in the back of your head that made it hard to be 100%. I think its natural to have some doubt. That little bit of doubt reminds me of the reality of living with cancer in remission. Each scan is going to be difficult and trying emotionally. But im confidant that we got this bastard! Right now the schedule for PET scans over the next two years is every four months.

The preverbal weight was lifted when I got a glimpse of my scan moments after we finished it. But had to wait for confirmation from my oncologist! Oddly enough I have a good idea what to look for on those scans. Im no expert, but I didn't see the hotspots!

The other great thing is I have been getting on the hill a bit. Trying to go up first thing in the morning for an hour. It feels good to make some turns and been doing a little exploring too. I have been feeling strong and working on my endurance. It seems to me that being on snow is the cleanest atmosphere to be in. Besides it sure feels good to be riding again especially since I didn't think I would be riding for a couple more months...

I have been keeping myself busy starting to get my life organized. Since I haven't been able to do anything since transplant, but i've been getting to know quickbooks. Pretty cool program. I think my taxes are going to be done before the end of the year! Thats a first!

As financially unstable as my life is right now, I'm probably the happiest I have ever been. Shreding in the morning, a little work in the afternoon. If I could keep it going like this for the next while.........

My Journey 11/14/10

This has been a good and sobering week. The tenth was one year since I was diagnosed. Since that point I figured I would put the tally together of the treatment and procedures that I've undergone.

12 rounds of ABVD chemotherapy (three hours each)
1 Bronchoscopy
1 Mediastinoscopy
2 rounds of ICE chemotherapy (three days each)
4 PET scans
Apheresis (stem-cell harvest)
1 round of BEAM chemotherapy (six days)
1 Autologous Stem-cell Transplant
Shit load of blood tests (CBC)

The last CBC on the 4th showed that my counts were all back with in normal range. The doctors are very happy with the results thus far, but I'll feel better when the results come back from my next PET scan on December fourteenth. I went throughout a lot of treatments in the last year. I guess it's only a little natural that I'm a bit nervous. Don't get me wrong, confidence is high that I got this beat. But there is a little lingering in the back of my head what if... I'm coming to the conclusion that I am a survivor learning to live in remission. I'm fortunate that my body was strong going into this battle. November eleventh was day +45 since transplant. It also represents a lift of my diet restrictions. I think sushi is in order!

November ninth marked the third anniversary on my first date with Erika. We celebrated by going to Burke and Reliys. Cheesy hua, well it was where our first date was at.

My Journey 10/26/10

I got sprung!  Not really, but the doctors gave me the ok to come home.  I spent five days at Brent's Place.  Its about five blocks from PSL.  Went in on monday and had my blood drawn for testing.  Went back in on Wednesday for more labs.  I got my results on back from the Monday labs and sure enough, my counts have come up so much that the doctors thought it would be a good idea that I come home and see how I cope.  So wednesday evening I came home.  I've been holding off on writing for a couple reason.  One, I wanted to see how I felt being at home in altitude.  And two, I need to be carful being around anyone being flu season and all.  So far so good.

Let me tell you how nice it is on sleeping in my own bed!  Aside from sleeping really well, being home has felt really good.  It took a little bit of getting use to not having to get up every four hours to have my vitals checked, blood draws done at midnight, peeing in a urinal, being attached to an IV pump 24 hours a day (I called it my pump buddy).  Last night I had one of the best night sleeps in a long time.  Without any drugs!  I cant explain or recommend just how important it is to get a good night sleep when you are recovering.  But I guess anything is better than sleeping in a hospital bed for a month.  The altitude definitely makes me want to take more naps but thats ok.  My body just went through hell.  Its going to take some time to recover.  I did a little test friday night to see just what kind of road im going to have in front of me.  I hauled up about eight five gallon water bottles up the stares and that pretty much did me in.  I have no strength, endurance, or stamina.  Ill be honest, it was a little disheartening.  But I have to keep reminding my self that I just went through a transplant.  Tomorrow will be day +28, 4 weeks ago.  Not a long time.  Its going to be a long road for sure.  I guess what im saying is that im trying to be as patient as I can.  Going off how im feeling at this moment, I feel pretty good.

Having a couple days to reflect on the hospital experience has been a bit overwhelming.  Its seems like it has gone by relativity quick.  Its been emotional.  Its been surreal.  I feel so fortunate for so many things at this moment that its hard to not be grateful for everything in my life.  It hasn't been easy up to this point, and I dont expect it to be easy from here on out...  

My Journey 10/18/10

Sorry for the delay on the haps since the last entry. It has been an emotional roller coaster. From watching my counts fluctuate up and down, to getting a little bug while my counts were at zero, to going out side for the first time in two and a half weeks. The month in the hospital was heavy! My appreciation for just about everything has been overwhelming. With that said, I want to say thank you to everyone that stopped by. That helped make the time seem to go by much faster.

Walking out of the hospital after being in there for a month made me realize just how much we take the little things for granted. Fresh air, breeze, sun, the sound of the trees, birds exc... But along with the good, theres the bad, the noise of traffic, cigarette smoke, sirens. I could go on and on about both sides. For the most part, we don't think of these things since our senses have adapted to these every day occurrences. I'm sure it's all well documented sociological behavior, but unless you go through a period of time away from the natural and unnatural surroundings, describing initial feelings is almost impossible.

I thought you'd get a kick out of this... My mom and I went to the store Friday night to get some provisions for my recovery stay at Brents Place. Part of going out is having to wear a face mask and gloves. Went to Safeway at Cherry Creek since it's pretty close to the apartment and I wanted to go for a little drive. Walking around the store, I would catch the other patrons turn around when they would see me and move to the next isle. I'm bald for the first time in my life, wearing a mask and gloves. They probably think I'm sick (which I am, just not what they think) and don't want what I got. The reality of it is that I don't want to catch their bugs. Precautions for me. The cool thing about is I pretty much got the hole store to myself. Hahahahaha. Cracks me up...

So I'm stoked that I'm out of the hospital! Im stoked that Erika is with me for the next couple days! And I'm thrilled to feel alive! Each day is getting better and better.....

My Journey 10/7/10

Yesterdays daily conversation with my doctor helped me understand some inner working of the human body and help quell a little anxiety that I was having due to a fluctuating blood counts.  Tuesday we saw a n increase in my ANC count (neutropenic count) to 20.  Its a small number, but was excited to see it go up.  I was like sweet!  Its working.  My counts came back on wednesday showing a 0.  Despondent is a good word, and throw a restless night sleep in there...  Thursdays Numbers cam back and there was a there was a two fold increase in the numbers all around.  I asked Mark my doctor.  What dies this mean?  Is this normal?  Cause this roller coaster sucks!  He said yes and that this is a good sign.  What happens is the new stem=cells are doing what there suppose to do.  They are starting to make new cells.  The new cells get released into the blood stream and are getting taken up my the organs and tissue to start repairing it from all the chemo, bruising and even any bugs that go on while your bottomed out.  Thats the reason for the roller coaster.  Mark explained that while Erika, Nic Drago and Jackie Nelson were visiting.  Of course, Drago had to Facebook it immediately!  Hahahahaha...  It was good for Erika to hear it from the horses mouth.  For me, it was a sigh of relief and now understand my body a little bit better on how it works.

At this point its a waiting game.  My counts are slowly moving up.  Hopefully hit overdrive in the next couple days.  Once my counts go above 1000, I wont be considered neutropenic and may be released to a halfway house a few blocks from the hospital.  Going to guess next week some time.  Ill throw out a guess, the 14th.   Thats a week from today.  I feel really optimistic!      

My Journey 9/29/10

9/27/10 - A Rebirth...

There is something to say about watching your life move through tubes and syringes.  Monday was my Stem-cell transplant.  The culmination of all the treatments, hospital stays, IV's, doctor visits, name bands, paperwork and stress all came down to a one hour period of time.  There was a huge out pour of emotion and tears were shed.

9/29/10

After two nights of sleeping like hell, woke up to Erika having to head home to work and deal with reality. I didn't want her to leave but she needs to get home.  I knew she was headed up the hill today.  It been nice having her around lately...

Fatigue is starting to set in and looking the side effects are creeping up.  Its interesting to see and feel ones body tweak out from the procedure.  My body is going "what the fuck did you just do to me?"  There are two things that I am going to concentrate on for the next two to three weeks.  nutrition and exercise.  I need to feed those new cells and I need to get them oxygen too.

All the doctors think that im doing great and im going to do everything in my power to expedite my recovery.  Im not neutropenic yet, at that will change by tomorrow (neutropenic means that my body is at its most susceptible to infection).  I got a hall pass to go out side for a short moment so definitely going to be taking advantage of that.   So now its about hanging out and letting my body do its thing.

In august, I met up with a gentleman named Devon O'neal who has been doing freelance writing around summit county.  Nic Drago mentioned to him that we should do an article for ESPN.  Well yesterday the article ran and I've been getting a bunch of good response from it all.  Click here to check it out.  I want to thank Brad Steward, Jeff Curtes, Gary Land, Justin Hostynek, Frank Wells, Todd Richards, my brother Chris, Mom and Dad, and Erika, Rayna and Kalina for helping me get it done.        

 

My journey 9/2610 - day -1

So I am disconnected from my pump buddy which is nice for a change. Get to come and go as I please on the third floor here at St. Lukes. I thought I would try out this I phone app to try a blog update. I'm sitting on the spin bike listening to Gwar. Oh yea! Gor Gor! Hahaha... Things are looking good and ready to move forward tomorrow. From what it sounds like, the transplant itself is only going to take less an hour. Erika's on her way and excited to see her. 

My Journey 9/22/10

   Let me back track a more than a week... Got a call from the infusion center at P/SL about the counts and how many stem-cells we harvested.  The doctors told me that we need a minimum of 2 million to do the transplant.  5 million is recommended and we harvested 9.4 million.  It takes 2-4 days for most people to get the recommended number of cells and I was able to do in in one sitting.  I was hooked up to that machine for 5 hours.  So I think that was great news and i didn't have to go back for another sitting.  Which was great.  I think that was the most surreal part of the process so far.  The noise was weird and watching my blood go through this machine and get processed is crazy.  Glad that I didn't have to do that again!

   Today is day six of chemo to kill off any of the white blood cells that have the lymphoma.  I have one half hour more of this of this and will get a day off on sunday, day before transplant.  Today is day -2.  it counts down that way until transplant day which is day 0.  Days after that are in +1, +2, and so on.  Its kind of like a rebirth in a sense.  I get to add another birthday in a weird way.  We'll call it my immune rebirth.  September 27th.  As the go on, I will be having a couple days of potential feeling the worst through this experience.  Due to my white cells dying and my stem-cells making new ones, I am going to guess that I am going to be feeling fatigue at its most.  Fortunately I got a spin bike to ride here in isolation and trying to get one or so hours on it a day.  The exercise is nice and motivating me to get my ass back in shape.  Which is good since being tied up to the pumps really limits my mobility.  That is going to be one of the keys on getting through this as fast as possible.  

   So day 0 approaches.  Im a bit scared.  Not about the procedure, but at this point I cant help but think of the what if's!  Confidence is high but there is just a lot to think about.  Will the grafting work?  The thoughts go through your head especially since confidence was so high after the first twelve rounds of chemo to kill it off.  Hodgkin's is a persistent bastard.  Is it cause for concern?  No!  I know im in good hands and everything that I have herd is the outcomes of this transplant are amazing.  Odds are very good!

  

  

        

My Journey 9/14/10

This is a trip!  I am hooked up to the machine that separates my stem-cells from my blood.  Its a centrifuge that is able to separate the different parts of my blood.  Frankly I dont really need to know any more about it than that.  

 Today is day -13 until transplant.  I have been having to check into Presbertian/St Lukes every morning since friday to get these shots called Nupegen.  It is similar to the Nulasta shots that I have been taking after each chemo round.  It also is a white blood cell booster, but this is short acting.  Where as the Nulasta works over a week or two period.  The shots ups all my blood cell levels to get ready for this beast.

   At the risk of sounding like a broken record, i've been trying to write down the things that I have felt like been milestones or significant mental challenges.  Today is one of them.  Watching my blood come out and cycled through this machine is doing two things.  One, realizing just how cool modern medicine is and two, just how fragile life can be.  Seeing my blood spin through this thing is surreal.  We are fortunate to be living in a time that we can treat these conditions.  This treatment wasn't here a generation ago.  Thats a scary thought in its self.  But reassuring also!  

   Needless to say im feeling a little drained right now.  Ill up date soon. 

My Journey 9/9/10

   So there's been quite a bit going on since my last update.  I had a tooth pulled on Aug. 25th.  Reason being I had a root canal done when I was 10 years old.  The tooth had a potential crack in it up by my jaw bone.  It was an upper tooth just left of my front two teeth.  For what ever reason, there was a little infection that had a small drain in my upper lip.  The infection had been going on for the last 20 or so years.  It never gave me any problem.  And we never say any decay in the tooth and jaw bone from the infection.  But since the transplant will bring my immune system more or less to zero, I cant afford to have a flair up cause of a bastard tooth.  So I had them do a bone graft also so I can have an implant latter down the road.  So im definitely a redneck now! hahahahah

   The following friday was my restaging testing.  I had another PET scan, a Echocardiogram (heart), Pulmonary (lung) test, Blood and Urine test and Bone Marrow Biopsy and A Bone sample.  The PET scan came back looking like really good. I am in remission which is where I need to be to move forward with the transplant.  Same with the Echo and Pulmonary tests.  Blood and Urine looked really good too.  Same with my Bone Marrow.  The funny part was the first needle that they used to take a Bone sample bent cause my bones are strong.  Must of been all the milk I drank growing up.  They got the core sample with a bigger needle.  It too cane back looking really good.  With my face swollen and walking with a little limp, it felt like I had been in a bar fight.  hahahahaah

   With all the news looking really good, all the doctors including my transplant doctor want to move forward without mobilization chemo.  Hell yea!  That means that I only have one more chemo to do and its the big one.  Immune Suppression chemo.  Tomorrow I start taking shots to stimulate my stem-cell growth.  Monday the 13th, I have my CVC catheter placed. and start harvesting later that afternoon.  Harvesting could take up to 3 days.  Well just hope for one.  Ill have a couple days off then on the 20th, ill check into Presbyterian/St Lukes (P/SL) for what will be about 2-3 weeks.  September 27th is D-day for the transplant.

   Im expecting to be hit pretty hard from the chemo.  And im feeling that the waiting around is worse than the actual procedures.  The anxiety and reality from the consent signing on tuesday has made the reality kick in pretty hard.  I've been so fortunate that I have gotten through all the treatment up to this point so well that it has felt surreal.  Dream like!  Signing all the papers has made me realize just how important it is to fight and push forward.  I know im going to be all right through all of this, but when discussion of your mortality is discussed, it hit pretty hard.  Im good and ready to tackle this bitch! Here we go!                            

My Journey 8/18/10

   Sorry for the delay everyone, Things have been a little hectic after I finished up my second round of ICE chemo.  A lot of good things are happening and moving forward.
The best thing that has happened in the last couple weeks is I am engaged!  Erika has been such an important person in dealing with my Hodgkin's that I dont want anyone else to take her from me. Hahahah, So I put a ring on her finger.

   So while I was in Lutheran Medical, August 5th was a really fun night with Michael and Jessica Bunchman doing their live cabaret " The truth About Love and the Usual Lies".  even though I was not able to be there in person, I was able to watch the event through Skype and say hey to everyone before the show started.  Technology is so awesome!  Thats how I v-chat with my brother in Brazil.  I had about a week of chemo hangover.  Its like your in a fog and everything happens really slow.  But got out side the following Thursday and played a round of golf with Frank Wells, Neil Burton, and friend Jake.  I lost a couple bucks so I bought the boys lunch.  What do you expect when you haven't swung a club for a month or so.  Shot a 102 from the tips.  Thats not so bad considering...  The rest of the time I have been filling out application forms for assistance.  Its amazing just how much paperwork there is for all of this!  There has to be a simpler way!  I understand there has to be some due diligence on my part, but come on, this shit is getting monotonous.  Hmmmm...  So with any luck ill have some help with my insurance premium.  One other thing, I go to Denver on August 27th to start my Restaging.  Its a battery of tests that include another PET scan, Echocardiogram, Pulmonary tests, x-rays, CT scan of my sinuses, labs, EKG, and a bone marrow biopsy.  I get this shit done in one day!  I dont have time to fuck around!  Hahahahah.  The CV or Hickman Catheter will be placed the next week and shortly after that, we start harvesting my own Stem-cells.  Pretty crazy but pretty cool too.  Ill be updating through that hole process as I have about a month of hospital time and a month of out-patient care in isolation.  I'll also have my i-cam to v-chat with friends and family through out.      

   The other thing that I have been working on is a Non Profit to help people that are newly diagnosed with Lymphoma and Leukemia about what to expect through there treatment.  The only person I really talked to was Marty from Marty's Kids here in Breckenridge. And all he said was there are going to be times that you aren't going to want to get out of bed.  But you have to give your self a pep talk and make your self get out of bed and get outside.  And he was right!  But I want to take it a couple steps further... I want to physically talk to young adults and motivate them into a mindset that this experience is a small bump in the road, but to fight it like you have nothing to loose!  Getting involved with Oncologists and Cancer Treatment Centers, and also paying visits to Oncology departments at hospitals.  Using my connections in the Action Sports industry to raise money to help take care of those new patients.  Using them also will help put together a network of survivors that can help spread the vision and mentality.  I'm thinking about doing two things with the proceeds,  Some sort of financial assistance to help with insurance premiums, or by donating money to The Leukemia & Lymphomia Society and/or Lance Armstrong's LiveStrong foundation.  There is a lot of worthy causes to help, and a bunch of really good projects to accomplish doing it.

   So its called Guerra Project.  I'm Currently working on getting all the legal paperwork put together and filed correctly. And a website sorted to start with information and goals! Give me a couple days and ill have a website up and running....  If you have any questions, let me know.  Im still putting together the mission statement and business plan.  Thats what's been keeping me occupied and not updating.  For those of you who dont know what Guerra means, it's translation is WAR in Spanish and Portuguese.  And Guerra Project has become my war on cancer.  Its really just a state of mind.  But its not just a mind set to beating cancer, but a way to approach life's challenges in general.  Thats where im at! Hang tight as there will be more info on Guerra Project shortly....