As you can imagine the emotions that come along with sickness. Battling Hodgkin's has proved to me that when faced with a mountain of adversity, being persistent and the willingness to fight has been the the mental key to moving forward.
Over the last week, stress, the unknown, even a little depression has finally come to fruition. I talked with my doctor today about going on some anti anxiety meds to help deal with all of this. For a while, I was able to smoke weed to help with the anxiety. But I'm not able to smoke due to the fungus that is in Marijuana. For the most part, it doesn't cause any ill side effects. But with my weaken immune system, I cant afford to have that fungus catch hold. I hate medication and for the record never been into pills. Especially painkillers. For the first time, I'm thinking about taking anti-anxiety meds. I cant believe it... even the thought of it scares me. But I want something to take the edge off. Add to the stress my family is undergoing, its no wonder why cancer is so encompassing. I wonder if the doctor can do a group deal on anti-anxiety and depression meds? hahahaha
This is how unbelievably awesome my community is, Michael Bunchman is a guy that I have known since birth. (I grew up with his older sister Leslie. K-12) Michael and his wife, Jessica Medoff Bunchman, are performing an original cabaret "The Truth About Love". I have yet to see them perform, but all I hear is how amazing they both are. This is something that brings me to tears! I feel so overwhelming grateful that they are doing this in my honor. I love my community I grew up in. That's what I see in Breckenridge!
Check out there web site, Medoffbunchman.com its going to be a great night with a fun reception afterwords. Its august 5th at the new CMC auditorium. Make it if you can. I'm hoping to make it, but not sure if I can be around that many people at once. Michael and Jessica, Thank You.
I'm going into the Frisco hospital for what's called a CBC in about a half hour. Its a blood test to see where my white and red blood cells levels are at. I have to have this done to to see where I stand on getting the next round of chemo done. Which is scheduled for next Tuesday. I feel good, so I'm moving forward!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
My Journey 7/8/10
I received the results from the Mediastinoscopy on Tuesday (July 6th). And the results that came back are conclusive! My Hodgkin's is reoccurring. A definite blow! So yesterday I had an appointment with a bone marrow and stem cell transplant specialist at Rocky Mountain Cancer Centers in Denver. Dr. Brunvand studied in Seattle and coincidently we both graduated from Summit High School in Frisco. A very smart man and knows his job very well. Small world... and I feel really good about that!
So now the fun begins...
Tuesday I go to the hospital to start preparing my body for a Stem Cell Transplant. I begin with two rounds of intense chemo therapy. Each round, i'll be at the hospital for about three days. The goal of this is to get the lymphoma into remission. That should take about three weeks starting Tuesday. Once in remission, I'll go through a battery of tests and re-evaluated. Its called restaging. I will also be going through a Pre-transplant Evaluation which is another battery of tests and biopsies. Insane hua! Im still wrapping my head around this... I will have a CVC placed and the rest of the procedures will be done through that. I will have to wear it for 6 months. The transplant should happen about two months from now. Got that! Its honestly giving me a headache.
Click on Autologous Transplant if you want to enlighten yourself about my procedure.
So its safe to say im scared! And I'm a little shocked that its gotten this far... Which is all the more reason to get going on this. There is a part of me that finds this entire experience interesting as well. Especially since im living it. Medically speaking of course. Even though finances are tight and economically its rough, everything feels sound and seems some what in control. And im in touch with a woman that does financial assistance with the American Cancer Society. Sweet! Amongst this onslaught of information, even thinking of ones own mortality, there is so much love and hope that I know I will be 100% at the end of this. I feel good and I feel strong! Im ready to kick its ass!
Oh yea, I've been listening to a shit load of Clapton!
So now the fun begins...
Tuesday I go to the hospital to start preparing my body for a Stem Cell Transplant. I begin with two rounds of intense chemo therapy. Each round, i'll be at the hospital for about three days. The goal of this is to get the lymphoma into remission. That should take about three weeks starting Tuesday. Once in remission, I'll go through a battery of tests and re-evaluated. Its called restaging. I will also be going through a Pre-transplant Evaluation which is another battery of tests and biopsies. Insane hua! Im still wrapping my head around this... I will have a CVC placed and the rest of the procedures will be done through that. I will have to wear it for 6 months. The transplant should happen about two months from now. Got that! Its honestly giving me a headache.
Click on Autologous Transplant if you want to enlighten yourself about my procedure.
So its safe to say im scared! And I'm a little shocked that its gotten this far... Which is all the more reason to get going on this. There is a part of me that finds this entire experience interesting as well. Especially since im living it. Medically speaking of course. Even though finances are tight and economically its rough, everything feels sound and seems some what in control. And im in touch with a woman that does financial assistance with the American Cancer Society. Sweet! Amongst this onslaught of information, even thinking of ones own mortality, there is so much love and hope that I know I will be 100% at the end of this. I feel good and I feel strong! Im ready to kick its ass!
Oh yea, I've been listening to a shit load of Clapton!
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