My Journey 10/26/10

I got sprung!  Not really, but the doctors gave me the ok to come home.  I spent five days at Brent's Place.  Its about five blocks from PSL.  Went in on monday and had my blood drawn for testing.  Went back in on Wednesday for more labs.  I got my results on back from the Monday labs and sure enough, my counts have come up so much that the doctors thought it would be a good idea that I come home and see how I cope.  So wednesday evening I came home.  I've been holding off on writing for a couple reason.  One, I wanted to see how I felt being at home in altitude.  And two, I need to be carful being around anyone being flu season and all.  So far so good.

Let me tell you how nice it is on sleeping in my own bed!  Aside from sleeping really well, being home has felt really good.  It took a little bit of getting use to not having to get up every four hours to have my vitals checked, blood draws done at midnight, peeing in a urinal, being attached to an IV pump 24 hours a day (I called it my pump buddy).  Last night I had one of the best night sleeps in a long time.  Without any drugs!  I cant explain or recommend just how important it is to get a good night sleep when you are recovering.  But I guess anything is better than sleeping in a hospital bed for a month.  The altitude definitely makes me want to take more naps but thats ok.  My body just went through hell.  Its going to take some time to recover.  I did a little test friday night to see just what kind of road im going to have in front of me.  I hauled up about eight five gallon water bottles up the stares and that pretty much did me in.  I have no strength, endurance, or stamina.  Ill be honest, it was a little disheartening.  But I have to keep reminding my self that I just went through a transplant.  Tomorrow will be day +28, 4 weeks ago.  Not a long time.  Its going to be a long road for sure.  I guess what im saying is that im trying to be as patient as I can.  Going off how im feeling at this moment, I feel pretty good.

Having a couple days to reflect on the hospital experience has been a bit overwhelming.  Its seems like it has gone by relativity quick.  Its been emotional.  Its been surreal.  I feel so fortunate for so many things at this moment that its hard to not be grateful for everything in my life.  It hasn't been easy up to this point, and I dont expect it to be easy from here on out...  

My Journey 10/18/10

Sorry for the delay on the haps since the last entry. It has been an emotional roller coaster. From watching my counts fluctuate up and down, to getting a little bug while my counts were at zero, to going out side for the first time in two and a half weeks. The month in the hospital was heavy! My appreciation for just about everything has been overwhelming. With that said, I want to say thank you to everyone that stopped by. That helped make the time seem to go by much faster.

Walking out of the hospital after being in there for a month made me realize just how much we take the little things for granted. Fresh air, breeze, sun, the sound of the trees, birds exc... But along with the good, theres the bad, the noise of traffic, cigarette smoke, sirens. I could go on and on about both sides. For the most part, we don't think of these things since our senses have adapted to these every day occurrences. I'm sure it's all well documented sociological behavior, but unless you go through a period of time away from the natural and unnatural surroundings, describing initial feelings is almost impossible.

I thought you'd get a kick out of this... My mom and I went to the store Friday night to get some provisions for my recovery stay at Brents Place. Part of going out is having to wear a face mask and gloves. Went to Safeway at Cherry Creek since it's pretty close to the apartment and I wanted to go for a little drive. Walking around the store, I would catch the other patrons turn around when they would see me and move to the next isle. I'm bald for the first time in my life, wearing a mask and gloves. They probably think I'm sick (which I am, just not what they think) and don't want what I got. The reality of it is that I don't want to catch their bugs. Precautions for me. The cool thing about is I pretty much got the hole store to myself. Hahahahaha. Cracks me up...

So I'm stoked that I'm out of the hospital! Im stoked that Erika is with me for the next couple days! And I'm thrilled to feel alive! Each day is getting better and better.....

My Journey 10/7/10

Yesterdays daily conversation with my doctor helped me understand some inner working of the human body and help quell a little anxiety that I was having due to a fluctuating blood counts.  Tuesday we saw a n increase in my ANC count (neutropenic count) to 20.  Its a small number, but was excited to see it go up.  I was like sweet!  Its working.  My counts came back on wednesday showing a 0.  Despondent is a good word, and throw a restless night sleep in there...  Thursdays Numbers cam back and there was a there was a two fold increase in the numbers all around.  I asked Mark my doctor.  What dies this mean?  Is this normal?  Cause this roller coaster sucks!  He said yes and that this is a good sign.  What happens is the new stem=cells are doing what there suppose to do.  They are starting to make new cells.  The new cells get released into the blood stream and are getting taken up my the organs and tissue to start repairing it from all the chemo, bruising and even any bugs that go on while your bottomed out.  Thats the reason for the roller coaster.  Mark explained that while Erika, Nic Drago and Jackie Nelson were visiting.  Of course, Drago had to Facebook it immediately!  Hahahahaha...  It was good for Erika to hear it from the horses mouth.  For me, it was a sigh of relief and now understand my body a little bit better on how it works.

At this point its a waiting game.  My counts are slowly moving up.  Hopefully hit overdrive in the next couple days.  Once my counts go above 1000, I wont be considered neutropenic and may be released to a halfway house a few blocks from the hospital.  Going to guess next week some time.  Ill throw out a guess, the 14th.   Thats a week from today.  I feel really optimistic!